23 Comments

Thank you for your inspiring Substack! Your content consistently stimulates and nurtures my mind. Yet, I find myself grappling with the distinction between "Stimulating" and "Unstimulating." For me, activities like staring at walls, eating, taking long walks, and engaging in journaling or drawing are undoubtedly stimulating, but it seems to be tapping into a different, more profound realm of my mind. Perhaps it's akin to "Surface stimulation" versus "Deep internal stimulation."

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I went back and forth on that too! I landed on defining “stimulating” as external stimulation - although still that doesn’t make the matrix perfect bc then wouldn’t all TV, thoughtful or not, be in the stimulating quadrants?? oh well lol. Maybe I’ll do a PhD in 2x2 matrix design instead...

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This is so so good, the metaphor of being “in your phone” and “phonewater” perfectly describes the experience. Well-done, glad I discovered your blog!

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madison!! thank you :) your latest piece was ALSO so good (in fact I will likely include a reference to it in a piece I've been wanting to write...if I actually end up writing it lol)

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Awww thank you :) looking forward to reading that one as well <3

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I love your writing, so glad substack put you on blast so I could find your newsletter! These graphs and thoughts surrounding them were so fun to think through.

As for grad school, I got my PhD in 2013 and have been precariously employed ever since. All the horror stories you hear about grad school are possible, and it's extremely likely --- regardless of your talent, brains, or hardwork --- that you will not be rewarded on the other side of it with a steady job. I make sooooo much less money than my peers outside of academia it's bananas. All that said? I don't regret it. I made great friends and got to spend years thinking and writing and teaching. The worst of it came after I finished ---I would have saved myself a lot of heartache if I didn't have high expectations for what would happen after.

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ahhhasd;kfjha;sdjf well damn, this gives me points for the pros column and the cons column...

And thank you <3 I'm sure there will be more 2x2s to come!

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Not delusional enough!! Go to grad school abroad!!! (It was fr the best choice I ever made and I did it for all the wrong, totally inadvisable reasons. My apologies to everyone for whom this was not the case.)

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wow okay good to know!! Where did you end up going?

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St Andrews! Granted it was just a masters but my main reason for going was to discern if I want to do a PhD (yes). I did get incredibly lucky both in my cohort and supervisor though. Academia can take such pride in its negativity but (somehow) I was surrounded with enthusiastic, positive, cooperative people and that made ALL the difference.

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I like the perspective

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I say GO FOR IT! You are young and brilliant and I believe the world will benefit from your study. But heh, I don't know what's best for you. I also believe that one can find places to expand and share without that extra degree. Just keep being you.

I sure love hearing your ideas. Thank you!

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thank you Ruth!! Your support is genuinely encouraging 🫶

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#1: do not, under any circumstances, do a phd (source: i am currently doing one and regret it every second; would drop out but sunk costs). please, i beg you, save yourself

#2: love the graphs, can’t wait to bring this up at the bar by redrawing on the back of a napkin

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Amazing okay marking this for 1 vote AGAINST - unfortunately delusion is winning, the FORs have it 2-1 :o

But no fr I have actually zero interest in being in academia, I just want several years to read philosophy and write arguments 😭 I’m honestly very curious to hear about your experience

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would it help if i told you they don’t just let you read interesting stuff and that my advisor emailed yesterday at 8am and said “we need to talk”

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yeesh 😶 godspeed

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Obsessed with your PhD idea and now need to live vicariously through you...

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HAHA OKAY putting you down for 1 vote FOR phd

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as someone in an era of no weed after a while of numbing out, lots of phone use, and going to grad school...all i can say is yeah.

also i the matrix is helpful for me so thanks for that!! it's good to visual alternatives plus not think that everything i do is evil for my mind/body.

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I would definitely read your thesis. Totally saved your matrix to contemplate later and analyze my own habits. Go to grad school if you feel the calling but don’t for academic validation. I think your findings are worthy regardless are PhD. Thank you for your writing 🙏

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Loved the matrix! (not the liminal space one). I had been thinking about this idea quite a bit recently. I wouldn't put an active mind staring at walls quite so much on the poisonous category, although it may feel like it. Ultimately we all have to listen to the void that emerges when we do not distract ourselves long enough but perhaps on the other side is a deeper idea of what it is to just live our lives. Or maybe its madness. The line between them is thin :).

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I don’t know how I ended up here at 9:13 on my Saturday night but I’m so happy I did. Thank you for the relatable writing and cool as heck graphs I love them

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